Discovery Channel
by Emerald Moonrose
Summary: Axel refuses to watch the Discovery Channel, saying that it's completely boring. Roxas shows him otherwise. Akuroku, hints of smut. AU


Wow. Completely pointless drabble. Totally not what I thought I'd first be posting. I got inspiration from The Bad Touch by the Bloodhound Gang, needless to say.

Disclaimer: I don't own The Bad Touch, The Discovery Channel, or Kingdom Hearts. If I owned anything other than the plot, then Axel's and Roxas's love would be more obvious. Like, smexing it up on the clock tower obvious.

Summary: Axel hates watching the Discovery Channel, saying that it's boring. Roxas shows him other wise.

* * *

"Roxasss!!" Axel whined, clutching the blonde's hand tightly. "Why do we have to watch this? You said that we would watch something good. Not crap!" His boyfriend spared him an amused look, then turned back to the TV.

"It's interesting," He said simply, watching what was happening on the screen. Axel groaned in annoyance. Why?

When Roxas called him over, Axel was expecting to have a more entertaining time. Preferably without clothes. _Maybe chocolate syrup too. . . Or caramel? _Axel considered the prospect again, inspecting his blonde boyfriend with a critical eye. _I think caramel would be better. . . Honey! Honey would be perfect. Match his hair better too. And sticky, which means extra shower time, which means extra Roxy time! Go me! _Then Axel was brought back to the realization that right now, there was no Roxy time. Roxy was having educational TV time. Emphasis on the 'educational' part. Which, why was he choosing this again? Roxas might claim it to be worthy of his time, but Axel wasn't impressed.

"The Discovery Channel? Interesting?" Axel let out a 'pfft' of disbelief. There were lots more interesting things to be done. Including him, syrup, and the bedroom. "Whatever. I wouldn't be caught dead watching this crap. It's too boring to even be considered real TV."

Roxas arched one eyebrow, mischief barely concealed shining in his eyes. "Really? I don't think so. There's some. . . _Fascinating _things to be learned from here. Take a look now." Despite Axel's previous words, he twisted to see the TV. What he saw stunned him, and Roxas delievered an all-knowing smirk. Roxas's boyfriend wasn't exactly a prude, but this was completely new. Not to mention explict.

"_Haha, well now, this is the act of mating. But, there are very many differences between human beings and animals you should know about._"

When the commercial break came on, Axel was still staring at the television, his mouth wide. Even he was at a loss for words. "… What was that?" He licked his lips, trying to regain his composure. "It was like, animal porn! That's what they should call this channel. Discovery Pornet."

Roxas chuckled darkly. His intentions in the first place were to get Axel thinking in different ways. This worked the best, it seemed. "Exactly. Different techniques, huh?" A devious grin spread across Axel's face as he took in what the blue-eyed boy said. Moving his body over, he easily pinned the fair-haired boy to the side of the sofa, his lithe, longer body almost smothering the smaller, more frail frame. Roxas's eyes narrowed in mock-irritation. "What are you doing, Axel?"

Axel leaned down next to Roxas's face and licked the shell of his ear, eliciting a moan from the younger boy. "When you think about it, we're nothing but mammals," He breathed into the petite blonde's ear. "So why don't we do it like they do on the Discovery Channel?"

Judging by the bulge Axel felt poking his thigh, he didn't even need to ask. _I'm pretty sure Roxas doesn't go around with a flashlight in his pants_. Axel thought, amused. He moved his lips over to Roxas's, only to teasingly pull away at the last second. Roxas groaned in annoyance, then surprised Axel by rolling them over, landing him on top.

"Ooh, Roxy's getting a bit impatient, is he?" Axel asked tauntingly, surprise turning into lust. Roxas growled.

"Just shut up and fuck me already."

A smirk. "With pleasure, Roxy."

* * *

There we go. Pointless. . . Smut? I dunno. Review?


End file.
